do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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