K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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