Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
