They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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