ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
