Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
