You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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