I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
