farters have to be the big spoon...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
