Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
