YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
