Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
