I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
