i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
