Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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