While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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