I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
