Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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