Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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