I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
