Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
