He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
