he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
