this boner is exhausting
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
did you just send me my own nude
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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