Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
