Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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