I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
