Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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