talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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