I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
