Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I have fence marks all over my body
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
