she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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