WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
