i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
a search helicopter?!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
