as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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