Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
