I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
