I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
