What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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