Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
