brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
