i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
