The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
