am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Use "feeling words"
Yay
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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