I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
