Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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