I accidentally burped into my bong.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
