I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
