My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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