Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
